I was in park today, sitting there in cafe and I know it is not polite to listen others talks, however I could not help myself today. I saw couple. They spent time together… but separately. They were not looking at each other, but to their phones. As the alive person in front of the other one is not interesting enough. “I want relationship,” I heard a man´s voice somewhere nearby in grass and I look there with hope… “but not serious one. Let´s be friends with benefits, if you know what I mean.” And I was surprised and thinking, maybe I am old fashioned. I finished my cake and decided to walk down to the playground. When we finished in playground, I put Canito to the buggy to have a nap and sit on the bench there. And I heard from woman my age “We are dating a month,” and she continued “and you see, we have so many differences and problems. Maybe we should not be longer together and instead still looking for someone else and relationship where are no problems.” And I just thought who is looking for life without problems and says that has lot of problems with herself.
Many times I heard that all this is because of the time and technology, but I have kept thinking… It is not. If it was, it would be mistake of pens we do not know the grammar, or fault of bottles that we get drunk, or fault of cars that there is so many accidents. People have just not understood today´s virtual age. They think that when they delete a comment, the words that hurt will disappear. But people are not robots, virtual beings, they are alive. The words that someone says will hurt us. If we stab someone in the stomach and then pull the knife out and say sorry, the wound remains.
I was probably born in different time or raised with different values. Broken things were repaired, not thrown away. Therefore, I want to repair many things before I throw them away, it is meaningful for me. I know, it means spend energy, but I am willing to give it to it. Sometimes, when I repair broken thing I realise that is just a trifle. And then I think – a broken relationship usually required only just a bit more care, more frequent maintenance.
Why do they feel that when they throw away broken relationship, they will get something out of it?
And actual signs of today´s ice age?
Running away instead of solving
People want to make life as easy as possible. That is why they run away from the first problem. Solving them is always harder than run away. Construction is always more difficult than destruction. That´s why people of the ice age are running away. However, life is not easy, that´s the paradox. Every relationship has a problem, but the main problem is an unwillingness to solve problems.
Destroying instead of building
Destroying is standard today. It is normal. Building relationship is a rarity. So it is called of “time of singles”. The time of those who do not want or do not even believe that it would be possible to build relationship.
Drifting instead of concentrating
The human brain is able to think of anything if it is not distracted or if it believes in itself, if it realises its strength and value. Like a human being.
Especially, at this time, you can see lot of beautiful bodies in the streets, each of them is different fro what the partner has. Every person we meet has something that our partner does not have. And in our brain, it could be seen that everyone is better than our partner. However, what we just need to do is to turn the angle of view and find that our partner has something that nobody else has. But we have to mature to this point. We have to lose our partner to realise what we suddenly miss in our life. We have given priority to someone in the street and maybe we will realise that we have preferred a beautiful empty box in which we cannot find anything interesting for long time relationship. So we start drifting and moving again… we will always find someone else, seemingly better.
I do not care instead Let´s talk
I think, for me the most important one. Communication. There are eight billion people in the world. So why stay with one? Simple reflection of people of this ice age. However, the same approach could have been taken by people who take care of roads – stop taking care of them just because there are plenty of other in the world. Unfortunately, all communications need to be maintained if they are to be used.
Communication is a link between two points – between two cities, as well as between two people. If there is no communication, the couple disappears and just two separate people remain. Both may feel that they can have a better life, waiting for them where they will not have to take care of anything, take care of someone, deal with compromise. Unfortunately, they will lose the strongest emotion in human life – love.
Whenever we love something – work or person, we give more than we have expected. We can develop, learn and be happy. In the couple, we are happy already by giving the right partner. If we are at the bottom, we are happy to get him back to his feet (we are happy for him), and we are happy for ourselves that we helped – we are proud of ourselves. It is a double energy per one. Yes, and that’s enough. And when you are alone, if there is energy, it is only one and if you are too down, you may not even find it.
Today´s day was for me “thinking” day instead of cooking, what message I will want to give to my son after all…
To lose a person who did not love you and betrayed you is no loss. The loss is when you do not have a person who loved you and trusted you anymore around. These kind of people are not easily replaceable. Those, who lose important people, believe in getting easier life. However in fact, they make it even more complicated. They are the ones who scream and kick around that life is complicated. No, life is not complicated, only the people of Ice Age make it unnecessarily complicated. Mobil phone, Facebook and the Internet were not created by Martin Cooper himself, Mark Zuckerberg himself, or Tim Berners-Lee himself. They would never have done that by themselves. Strength is in people, in team. Because person alone can not do much. Couple or team, yes. Let’s think about it next time we want to say, “I do not need you. I do not care about you.”